Prison Kids Prison Visits & Issues Women's Prisons

CDCR CIW Visiting Day to See My Mom – 4.23.2011

I’m off to see my mother this morning. It’s been a couple of months. So much has happened since then. I can’t wait to catch her up on some things I didn’t feel like writing her about.

Yesterday, my Granny called to confirm that I was still going to take her today. She said that she had been trying to get down there for a while, but no one would take her. I promised her that I would.

My Granny has such a sarcastic sense of humor. Outsiders think it is so cute. Her offspring, on the other hand, finds it to be very annoying and obnoxious, yet rider-style hilarious. She told me that if I don’t show up today, she was going to “hunt me down like a rabid dog and shoot me to put me out of my misery”! I thought to myself, “Wow, what a ‘nice’ thing to say to your granddaughter.” LMBO!

Anyway, I’m off to see my dad’s baby-momma. Another day with the two matriarchs of my maternal family. Once again, this will be an interesting day. Will update you all later. Wish me luck!

The Prisoner’s Daughter

Prison Kids

The Prisoner’s Daughter: Please, Don’t Hurt My Mom!

So, I get a call today informing me that my mom needs $300 on her jpay acct TODAY, or some broad is gonna cause her great harm.I immediately started shaking. Something kept telling me not to answer the phone earlier when this person kept calling. I am not a morning person and really didn’t need to start my day with my mom on the 3-way, frantically telling me this story.

I didn’t even care why. I really didn’t even want to know. But, I realized that the caller had been dealing with this all morning, while I was being the denial queen I am famous for being. I knew in my gut that she was calling with something bad. So, when I finally answered her call, I had to let her get it all off of her worried chest.

Then, it came down to the money itself. The caller had already sent $100. I only had $100 to send, which I put on her jpay account while we were still on the phone. She said that everyone else told her no, for one reason or another. I am trying to understand every one’s point of view. But, the bottom line is, this is not extortion. She actually owes this woman money for something another family member promised to give her the money for. A necessity. Now, that person doesn’t have the money. Understandable. So, we ALL need to pitch in. Even if you can only send $10. That’s real talk!

Anyway! I don’t have it in me to let this stress me out today. I have been making myself physically ill with my alcoholism, cigarettes and stress. As of this moment, I am giving this up to God. I made a decision this morning to check into rehab, ASAP. I cannot let this deter me from what I need to do to save my own life.

God will take this problem under his wing and handle it for us, because He knows I cannot. I need to save my strength for the journey I have ahead of me.

This is the life of The Prisoner’s Daughter.

Prison Kids

She Wants to be a Grandmother… But, My Mom Is Still in Prison

Every so often, I get a letter from my mom which contains a newspaper clipping or other information related to fertility. My mom has wanted to be a grandmother most of my adult life. Now that I am 40, she’s going through a panic about me starting menopause recently.

I have always wanted children, all my life. I could never seem to be in a relationship that I felt was loving enough to bring a child into. So, I’ve pretty much put it off until now. But, having a family of my own is definitely still my biggest dream and daily prayer to God.

Now, things are complicated even more by the fact that I am in love with a man prison. (See my blog, “The Prisoner’s Fiance” for details.) He still has a couple of years to go, while I continue to go through menopause. My mother truly fears that this choice may cause me to never be able to have children.

I’ve started researching the different fertility options that I may have. I am still researching and going through consultations, but it looks like I’ve pretty much made a decision. I plan to have my eggs frozen. That way, if all of my eggs are useless by the time my boo gets released, we will still have the option of using my frozen eggs to make our family.

Because he has been my best friend for two decades, he always knew there were some type of fertility issues for me. Now that we’re in love, he is more than happy to go through whatever procedures we need to in order to have children together.

I guess the only question will be, “How many eggs do we use at one time”? Knowing my mother, she will say “Use them all”! But, Lord knows I don’t want to be “Me & Him + 8” or “The New Octo-mom.” LOL! LMBO!